Whatever Happens
by Breila Rose
Summary: Kendall Knight is the CEO of a million dollar company that he runs with Logan and Carlos. Lost in LA and recently single, he stumbles upon James - a cocky, gorgeous prostitute. What was supposed to be a simple business deal winds up turning the boys' lives upside down.
1. Part One

This was written for the Big Time Bang over on LiveJournal.

It's probably the longest thing I've ever written solo and I have no idea how I managed to finish. The plot is inspired by Pretty Woman. Warnings for prostitution, mildly graphic sex and Feelings.

A huge huge thanks to my beta, Sarah (_kirbylicious_ on LJ, **Aranelle** here) for listening to me whine and complain for the past five months and for letting me bounce ideas off her and for generally being amazing. This fic would have been horrible without her and her wonderful beta skills.

Thanks to Cassie (garnetice on LJ, **The Brat Prince** here) for being my second pair of eyes and reading this over even while she's trying to finish her own fic. All the Logan hate was written just for you, bb.

And last but not least thanks to my amazing artist, solarbaby614 for the beautiful art she created for me.

Extra note: **Aranelle** is posting on behalf of the author, any screw ups in scene breaks can be attributed entirely to her. She apologizes in advance for them.

* * *

Kendall Knight sighed quietly as he slid his sunglasses onto his face and stepped out into the bright L.A. sunshine. He hated flying commercially but, he'd sent his friends, and business partners, to L.A. ahead of himself the day before and his jet had run into a problem and wasn't able to return. At least he'd been able to get a seat in first class.

A familiar voice rang out above the noise of people being picked up and dropped off, followed by a long honk of a car horn. Kendall turned with a smile, spotting Logan standing outside an Aston Martin and smirking at him.

"Hey, dude," Kendall greeted him, tossing his luggage in the backseat and sliding into the front. "Nice car. I think I give you too much of a car allowance."

"Don't be an ass. You know I like my cars; besides, we can afford it," Logan said, throwing the car into gear and tearing out onto the road, making Kendall grip the side of the door tightly.

"Can you please get me to my hotel in one piece?" he asked weakly.

"Shut up, I'm fine," Logan told him. "So how was the flight? We have a charity dinner tonight outside the city."

Kendall groaned. Normally he didn't mind charity dinners, even though they tended to be full of pompous people who thought throwing money at a problem would solve it. The food was usually good, though, and Logan and Carlos always managed to keep things interesting, but all he wanted to do tonight was unwind before the long week he had coming up.

"Don't groan, you have to go," Logan told him, continuing before Kendall could protest. "You're the face of Knight Enterprises, not to mention the CEO; you have to go."

"Yeah, I know," Kendall sighed again. He did know, he knew it came along with the job. Being one of the most successful businessmen in the world, not to mention one of the youngest, didn't come without its obligations. But lately he was starting to get tired of it; tired of the act, tired of the people, tired of everyone trying to get something from him. He didn't regret his life, or his success. He couldn't, not when it took care of his mother and sister and best friends.

His dad had abandoned them when Kendall was ten and his mother had to work two jobs just so they could survive. Kendall would wake up some nights, stomach growly, and hear her crying as she tried to pay bills. He swore then that he would have money when he grew up, that he would make it so he never had to skip dinner so Katie could eat his and he would never have to hear his mother cry in the middle of the night.

Dreams of playing hockey flew out the window and he started to apply himself more at school, Logan tutoring him through high school. He got a job as soon as he was able in order to help out at home and managed to secure a scholarship to a business school. When he was twenty-four he started up a small company with Carlos, bringing Logan on after he graduated law school. Ten years later and he was among the top ten richest CEOs according to Forbes, and his company was still growing. But lately, it felt like it wasn't enough.

"So," Logan said, snapping Kendall out of his head, "no Jett?"

Kendall frowned. "He moved out on Monday," he said with a shrug.

"I'm sorry, man," Logan said, reaching over and squeezing his knee.

"It's whatever, he wanted me to be a person I wasn't, and all he really cared about was my money and how much he could get," Kendall said. "That's not love."

"I never did like him, neither did Carlos," Logan said. "You deserve better."

"Yeah," Kendall shrugged, unsure what better was or if he was capable of finding it.

* * *

James Diamond suppressed a groan as he snuck quietly back into his loft. He closed the door without making a sound, a feat he'd mastered over the past few months. The landlord was out in the hall and he was late on rent.

He was always late on rent.

James doubled back, heading into his bathroom and lifting the top of the toilet tank, grabbing the plastic box he and his roommate kept the rent money in. James knew he had most of it, he just needed another hundred dollars and the landlord would probably accept what he had.

"Fuck, Joseph!" he groaned, cursing his roommate when he found the box empty.

Frustrated, he grabbed his coat and opened the one window the tiny apartment had. He quietly made his way down the fire escape and headed back around the building, avoiding the front door and making his way three blocks to their local bar.

Red's wasn't the classiest of bars; in fact it was probably the furthest from classy something could possibly be. It wasn't James' favorite place, but the beer was dirt-cheap and he and his friends couldn't afford anywhere else, even after a good night. It was always dark and hard to see anything through the heavy haze of smoke that constantly filled the air from the fog machine the owner thought was cool. James thought it was better that way; he could ignore just how far down he'd fallen if he couldn't see the grime and desperation that decorated the place.

"Hey, Paul," James said, greeting the bartender while trying not to lean on the dirty bar. "Seen Joseph?"

"Upstairs," Paul said, nodding towards the stairs in the back. "Wayne was here."

James cursed softly and made his way to the back of the bar. Wayne was bad news. He'd been trying to get James to work for him for weeks but James didn't want to be controlled. He did this because he had to, and he did it on his own terms. He needed to have some control over his life.

Joseph had liked the idea of working for Wayne-guaranteed work, steady money, and protection; James could see the appeal, but he wasn't about to become a whore to a pimp.

"Joseph," James said, sitting across from his guitar-playing roommate. He was shirtless and wearing sunglasses, the scent of weed lingering around him. "Please tell me you didn't use our rent money for weed again."

"Dude, it's cool," Joseph hummed, strumming the strings on the guitar in his lap.

"It's not cool, Joseph, we need to pay rent, and some of that was mine," James said, running his hand through his hair.

"I needed to pay Wayne back for the weed. It's all good, though, he smoked me up before he left," Joseph told him. "Was looking for you too, Jamie."

"Well, he's not gonna find me," James told him, "and you should be careful, we don't need a pimp. Remember: we say when, we say where, and we say how much."

"I know, I know, Jamie," Joseph nodded. "Look, I made some money today playing in the park. Take that for rent. We'll get the rest tonight. We should get a move on."

James nodded. "All right, come on." He stood, making his way out of the bar with Joseph trailing behind him, ready to begin another night of work.

* * *

Kendall stood against the bar in the banquet hall, drink in hand as he surveyed the crowd. Speeches by the charity owners had finished quickly and dinner had just ended. Now it was the part he dreaded; making nice with all the guests.

Kendall hated fake people, and he hated being fake himself. He was never very good at this part of the evening. He caught Logan's eye from across the room, the look on his face clearly telling Kendall to stop scowling.

"If you don't smile, you're gonna get a lecture," Carlos smirked, coming up next to him and ordering two whiskeys.

Kendall looked over at his best friend and smiled at him. "Logan knows I'm not good at these things. I'm better if I have a date, usually they can schmooze for me."

Carlos looked up at him, concern written all over his face. "Logan told me Jett moved out."

Kendall shrugged. "It's okay, I was expecting it. I'm not upset."

"You're never upset," Carlos said. "That's what worries me, Kendall. You've gone through four break-ups in the past two years, and you weren't bothered by any of them."

"I didn't love any of them," Kendall said flatly, "not for a lack of trying."

"Kendall-"

"Carlos, let's not. It's not in my cards, and you can't have everything, right? I'm successful, so I guess I had to sacrifice something for that," Kendall shrugged, taking another sip of his drink.

"Bullshit, Logan and I are successful and we're in love," Carlos told him, "if you would just be open to it."

"You and Logan are different. You were made for each other, we've all known that since we were ten. Not everyone gets a soul mate for their entire life." Kendall downed the rest of his drink and ordered another.

Carlos sighed; it was better not to argue with Kendall when he was like this, Kendall knew his friends knew him too well.

"Look, I have a few contacts in the area, if you want me to set you up with a date for the week," Carlos said, trying to switch gears.

"I can find my own dates, Carlos," Kendall told him. "Look, tell Logan I'm sorry, I need to go."

He put his full glass on the bar and headed towards the exit, ignoring Carlos calling after him. It usually took a lot usually for his lack of a love life to get to him. He envied his two best friends, but he was always able to ignore the feeling that he was alone. Lately that feeling had been staring him in the face and not letting him think of anything else.

He was lonely, and he was running as fast as he could from admitting that to himself.

Taking Logan's car was probably a little extreme, but Logan had forced this party on him, and Kendall figured they were even now. There was also the added bonus of speeding away from the party as fast as he could.

An hour later, having driven aimlessly, Kendall was lost. He never drove in L.A., usually he had a car that took him around because he didn't know the streets.

"Fuck," he muttered as he pulled onto another unfamiliar street. This was definitely the wrong part of town to be lost in. He could see prostitutes on the street looking for customers, and he was pretty sure there was a drug deal happening in the alley across the street.

"Good job, Knight," he muttered to himself. He could see the headlines - 'Multi-millionaire found dead in a dumpster'. He drove another block, looking for someone who looked like they wouldn't kill him if he asked for directions.

Kendall spotted two guys standing on a corner a block or so down. One was sitting on a bench playing guitar, while the other stood on the curb.

The boy standing by the curb made Kendall's breath catch when he saw him. He was tall and tan; that Kendall could see immediately. He was wearing jeans that fit him perfectly, that hugged his ass but were loose enough to make it look like they were tailored just for him. They were perfectly paired with a deep red sleeveless shirt that showed off the boys' arm muscles. Kendall knew he was being ridiculous, but this boy looked like a god, illuminated by the cheap lights behind him, and Kendall found himself pulling up to the curb before he had a chance to think.

As the boy approached the car Kendall was struck again by how incredibly beautiful he was. His eyes were outlined in black liner, drawing whoever looked at this boy right into the bright hazel of his irises. His hair fell carelessly across his forehead, a little long, and Kendall couldn't help but imagine running his hands through it and grabbing a fistful as he fucked this boy's beautiful mouth.

"Hey, looking for a good time?" The boy asked with a smug smile. He knew he was hot, and the illusion was shattered.

Kendall burst out laughing. "Does that actually work?" he asked, trying to catch his breath.

The god-boy pouted, and Kendall found himself wanting to kiss the pout right off those lips. "Usually, yes," he said, leaning against the car.

Kendall smirked. "Well it's too bad I'm looking for directions."

"Are you now," he boy smirked, "where ya headed, Blondie?"

Kendall resisted the urge to scowl at the boy. "The Sunset Tower hotel, you know it?"

The boy laughed. "Well, you're pretty out of your element here, aren't you?" He smirked again. "Fifty bucks."

"What?" Kendall asked in disbelief. "You're going to charge me for directions?"

"Nothing in life is free, fifty bucks is the cheapest you're gonna get it," the boy told Kendall impatiently.

"Fine," Kendall growled, taking out his wallet and handing the boy a fifty. "So how do I get back?" he asked, staring in shock as the boy opened the passenger door and climbed in the car.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"You're just gonna get lost again, Blondie, I'll show you how to get there, no extra charge." The boy smirked again, and Kendall couldn't decide if he wanted to punch him or fuck him.

"Fine," he grumbled - the boy was probably right anyway.

"Great, just pull out here," the boy instructed, pointing to the road.

Kendall did as he was told, glancing over at the boy. He was relaxing back in his seat with a small grin on his face. "Aren't you going to lose clients by doing this?"

The boy answered with a shrug. "It was shaping up to be a slow night. Besides, this car is sick, I've always wondered what it would be like to drive in one."

Kendall glanced at him again. "What's your name?" he asked curiously.

"What do you want it to be?" the boy replied coyly, the smirk still on his face.

Kendall just gave him a look and the boy rolled his eyes. "James," he said, leaning forward and fiddling with the radio. "Oh, make a left up here."

Kendall turned at looked at James again. "So, uh, out of curiosity, what's the going rate these days?"

James turned to Kendall smugly. "Two hundred."

"A night?"

"An hour."

"Two hundred an hour? Jeez, people pay that?" Kendall asked in shock.

"For me they do." The smirk was back again. "Rent isn't cheap you know, neither is food."

Kendall shook his head in disbelief.

"Make a right onto Sunset and it's gonna be up the block," James instructed.

Kendall nodded, keeping an eye on James until they'd pulled up to the hotel. "Well thanks, I guess."

"No problem," James said, getting out of the car.

"Are you okay getting back?" Kendall asked.

James held up the fifty Kendall had given him earlier. "Bus fare," he said shrugging.

Kendall nodded and handed his keys to the hotel valet. "Okay, well, have a good night."

James nodded and turned, Kendall watching him walk to the bus stop and sit on the bench. He turned to go into the hotel but hesitated, instead turning and looking back at James. What was the harm in spending an hour with him? He could afford it, and it had been a really long time, and he was ridiculously hot. There was something about him that Kendall didn't want to walk away from yet. Before he could talk himself out of it he was walking back over to James.  
"You said two hundred?" he asked, and James turned to look at him with a smirk.

"I did," James nodded.

"Okay, come on," Kendall said, holding out his hand. James took it and stood up, letting Kendall lead him into the hotel.

"Nice place," James mused looking around. "You must be loaded, huh?"

Kendall laughed, "You could say that," and led James into an elevator, hitting the top floor button.

"Penthouse, swanky," James smirked. "So Mr. Swanky, you gonna tell me your name?"

"Kendall Knight," he told James as the elevator reached the top floor.

"Well, I should have charged you more," James laughed.

"So you know who I am?" Kendall asked, letting him into the suite.

"Not until you said your name," James shrugged as they walked in, "I read page six, you're always on there."

"Whatever happens tonight stays here," Kendall said seriously, stopping to look at James, "or you can leave now."

James rolled his eyes. "I don't air my clients' business to the world. I don't care what you do as long as I get paid."

Kendall nodded, for some reason believing the boy in front of him. "Good." He gestured into the main room. "Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to have them bring up some champagne."

"Fancy," James said, flopping down on the couch and spreading his arms across the back of it like he owned it. "I could get used to this. Usually I spend an hour in the back seat of a car, maybe a cheap motel. You're spoiling me."

Kendall stared at James while he made the call to room service. He knew what was happening, and Logan would kill him for this, but his instinct to take care of everyone was taking over. He watched James, wondering what had happened to him that make him turn to this kind of lifestyle. He obviously took pride in his looks, he was well groomed, he spoke and carried himself like someone who was brought up into a nice lifestyle. He didn't have the sunken, sallow look of someone who turned to drugs, Kendall couldn't help but wonder where he went wrong.

"Not that I don't love the attention," James said, breaking Kendall out of his thoughts, "but we only have about forty five minutes left and I do like to give my clients what they pay for."

Kendall blinked at James for a second, opening his mouth to say something only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. The champagne.

"I don't really know- that is I've- never done this before," Kendall stammered after the champagne had been delivered and they were alone again.

"It's easy," James said, sitting up and reaching into his back pocket. "Condom preference? I'm thinking extra large?" He smirked and Kendall blushed.

"How much for the whole night?" he blurted out.

"What?" James asked, astonishment written on his face.

"Look, I can't just fuck you and kick you out, I need to be comfortable. We can drink some champagne and just let things develop," Kendall said awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.

"A thousand," James told him, knowing that would pay for rent for the next two months.

"Done," Kendall said, walking over to the desk on the other side of the room, taking out a billfold, counting out money and placing it in an envelope.

"Here," he said, handing it to James and grabbing the champagne and glasses, opening the bottle.

"So before we start, is there anything I should know about this?" Kendall asked, offering James a glass of champagne and taking a seat on the couch.

"I'm clean," James told him, used to this part. "I always use condoms, I get tested every six months, I do not, nor have I ever done drugs, especially not any that involve needles. I'll top or bottom, whichever you prefer. I don't do anything that involves leaving a mark on my body, so if you have whips or canes hidden in here somewhere, keep them hidden."

Kendall felt himself blush. "I don't..." he stammered, "I don't do things like that."

James nodded. "Just checking, you'd be surprised what some people get off on," he said, sipping his champagne.

"Do you?" Kendall asked abruptly. "Get off that is?"

James looked at him for a moment. "Well, that depends. Sometimes - sometimes because I want to, sometimes because if I don't it won't stop," he told him. "Oh, I also don't kiss on the mouth."

"Why not?" Kendall asked, confused and a little disappointed; he'd wanted to feel those lips against his own.

"Too intimate. This is a job, and I won't let those lines get blurred. I have to keep something for myself," James said, finishing his glass.

"Are you always this open with your clients?" Kendall asked curiously, taking a sip of his champagne.

James shrugged. "You don't do this much, figure I should make you comfortable."

Kendall nodded, looking James over, his eyes coming to rest on the other boy's lips. "I really can't kiss you?" he asked.

"Not my mouth," James told him, moving closer to Kendall on the couch. "There are other things my lips can do though, things you'll like more."

Kendall swallowed, gazing at James, his brain conjuring up images of exactly what James could do. He looked at James nervously; he never took himself for someone who would pay for sex, but here he was and all he wanted to do was fuck this beautiful boy in front of him.

"Are you gonna show me?" Kendall asked with more courage than he actually felt, doing his best to shove away the nerves as he locked eyes with James again.

James smiled at him, reaching forward to pluck the glass out of Kendall's hand and putting it on the coffee table. "Yes," he said, crawling forward, his fingers toying with the hem of Kendall's shirt. "I usually don't have to seduce my clients."

"Wait," Kendall gasped as James' hand slipped under his shirt and brushed against his skin.

"For what?" James murmured, looking up at Kendall through his eyelashes. "I know you think I'm hot, and you've been staring at my mouth since I walked up to your car." He let his fingers tease against Kendall's skin, smirking when Kendall sucked in a breath.

"Let me take care of you tonight, baby," James murmured, pushing up Kendall's shirt and pulling it off him. "Let me do what I do best." All Kendall could do was nod.

James leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kendall's chest, nipping at it lightly and Kendall could feel his breath speeding up as James' mouth trailed over him. "I'll take good care of you," James crooned, dragging his lips up to Kendall's nipple, and Kendall could feel James smirking when it made him shudder. He popped the button on Kendall's pants, unzipping them and pushing them down as he moved to the floor, kneeling between Kendall's legs.

James attached his mouth to the inside of Kendall's knee and sucked on the skin lightly. Kendall moaned again - James definitely knew what he was doing, and knew that he was slowly driving Kendall insane. "James, please," he heard himself begging before he could help it, but he couldn't bring himself to care - all he wanted was that mouth wrapped around him, it had been way too long.

James moved back up slowly, pressing kisses up one of Kendall's legs and back down the other. It made Kendall's breathing pick up and his hands curl into fists at his side. Then James reached up, slowly peeling Kendall's boxers down and nuzzling his nose against the inside of Kendall's thigh, making Kendall shudder again as James breathed him in deep.

After a moment James pulled back - Kendall thought he heard James tossing clothing across the room, but his eyes had fallen shut under James's ministrations so he wasn't sure. The next thing he knew, James was rolling a condom on him. There was a pause then, Kendall finally opening his eyes to look at James. James held his gaze for another long moment before leaning in and wrapping his lips around the head of Kendall's cock, tongue running across the top before swallowing deeper, making Kendall moan out his name.

James held Kendall's hips down and took him deep, obviously not wanting Kendall to thrust up right away. Kendall felt James take a moment to adjust before beginning to bob his head, pulling another long groan form Kendall's throat.

Kendall reached down to rest his hand on top of James' head, his fingers tangling in James' hair and pulling slightly. James loosened his grip on Kendall's hips, letting him buck his hips up and fuck James' mouth the way Kendall was dying to.

Kendall felt like he was going crazy - James was incredible, the things he could do with his mouth alone made Kendall want to stay in bed with him for the rest of his life. His orgasm took him completely by surprise, ripping a shout from his throat. He tightened his hand in James' hair and rode it out before collapsing back against the couch.

He felt James swallow reflexively, gasping softly when James ran his hands up Kendall's thighs soothingly as he came down from his orgasm. James pulled off with a smirk and looked up at Kendall.

"Still wanna wait?" he asked with a smug smile.

* * *

_"I can't believe you took my car."_ Kendall knew those were going to be the first words out of his best friend's mouth when he called him early the next morning. James was still asleep in the bed and Kendall slipped quietly out of the room.

"I know, I'm sorry," Kendall said, pouring himself a cup of coffee from the tray room service had brought up. "I just needed to get out of there."

Kendall heard Logan sigh on the other end of the line. "We're worried about you, Kendall, and we're worried about this week. It's a really important deal, and Griffin already doesn't want to do it - how is it going to look if the CEO is running out on charity events?"

"I'm sorry, you're right." Kendall sighed. "I know what I'm doing, it will work out, have a little faith in me. Have I steered you wrong yet?"

"What if it doesn't?" Logan asked. "Look, Griffin is bringing Mercedes to dinner tonight. She may be his spoiled daughter, but she's smart, and she knows business. You might want to consider bringing a date, you remember what happened last time?"

Kendall remembered well. Mercedes had tried to get him to be her boyfriend in exchange for their business support.

"You need to be taken this week," Logan continued. "I have some people I can call."

Kendall looked into the bedroom, watching James roll over in bed and smiling. "I have someone already."

"Who?" Logan asked suspiciously. "It had better not be Jett."

"No." Kendall shook his head. "Someone I met last night. Don't worry, I have it covered. I'll be in the office in an hour." He hung up before Logan could grill him more.

"I smell coffee," James said, coming into the room wearing boxers and rubbing his eyes.

"Help yourself," Kendall said, gesturing to the cart. "I also got some breakfast that you're welcome to."

"Nice," James said, pouring a cup and sitting down. "I need to stick with clients who are loaded from now on if this is the treatment I get." He grinned as he loaded his plate up with items he never got to eat; pancakes, and fruit, and sausage.

"Speaking of clients," Kendall said, putting his cup down. "I have a proposition for you."

James looked up at him with a smirk. "I didn't proposition you enough last night?" he asked with a playful leer, making Kendall's cheeks flush.

"Yeah," Kendall cleared his throat. "I'm going to be in town for the next week and I'm going to need a date to bring to events - I was wondering how you would feel about spending the week with me. I'll pay you, of course."

"You want to bring me to big fancy events?" James asked incredulously, staring at Kendall like he was insane. "Why on earth would you want to bring a hooker around all week?"

"Well I wouldn't exactly tell people your profession," Kendall told him, wincing inwardly at James's comment, "but I need someone who can mingle, and you're incredibly good looking, and I can tell you're a people person. You would be good in situations like that, better than I am anyway."

James continued to stare at Kendall, seeming to calculate things in his head. Kendall thought James looked surprised and wondered if he'd ever done anything like this before, or with someone as high profile and as wealthy as Kendall - it struck Kendall that if James asked for enough money he could potentially get his life back on track.

"Fifty thousand," James said, the picture of confidence, but Kendall could see the tiniest hint of fear that he'd get kicked out.  
Kendall eyed him. "Twenty-five."

"I have to buy clothes for your fancy outings," James pointed out.

"Fine. Thirty, and I include all expenses for the week," Kendall told him.

"Forty-five," James said, crossing his arms.

"Forty."

"Done."

Kendall nodded. "Okay, forty plus clothes and expenses," he said, sticking out his hand for James to shake.

"Deal," James said, shaking his hand and then going back to his breakfast.

"Great." Kendall finished his coffee and put it down. "I need to go into the office for a few hours, and then we have a really important dinner tonight. I need you to do some shopping today - get one or two nice suits, and some casual outfits for day outings. Have you ever played golf?"

James shook his head. "No, golf is boring," he said, shoving a bite of pancakes in his mouth.

"I know," Kendall agreed with a laugh. "So I'm gonna leave you some cash, and my credit card. I'll send my car back for you. Have it take you to a few stores. Buy whatever you want. Here's my card, if you need to reach me."

James nodded and took the card - everything about Kendall was screaming professional and James had a strange desire to get him to loosen up. "Yes, boss," he said with a smirk, causing Kendall to roll his eyes as he left the suite.

* * *

James sat back in the car that Kendall had sent for him. He'd been shopping all day and he had almost forgotten how much he loved it. There was a point in his life where he'd spent all his time hopping from store to store to find the right clothes to perfect his look. It felt like a different lifetime.

He hummed happily, watching the scenery pass him by. He had extra money in his pocket for the first time in years and he was itchy to spend it. But he didn't want to blow it. This job was his chance to fix everything he'd messed up and start over, and he was starting now.

"Pull over here," he told the driver, sitting up suddenly. They were outside Rocque Records, he knew he had enough money to book some studio time, enough to get some demo tracks down finally.

"I'll be back," he told the driver, jumping out of the car and making his way up to the building.

"I'm looking to book a recording space and pass along some music to an agent," James told the receptionist once he got her attention. He gave her a smile that he knew from experience would have her swooning, and sending him along to talk to someone who was actually in charge.

As soon as he was shown in to the office of the girl in charge he knew he was in trouble. A smile wouldn't work on her - she was shrewd, a business woman that wouldn't fall for his charm.

"So you want to use Rocque Records to record a demo?" she asked, looking him up and down. He realized belatedly that he probably should have changed out of his stolen thrift store clothes and into something designer that was waiting back in the town car. "We usually try not to rep boys who spend their time whoring themselves out for money."

James winced inwardly. He didn't think anyone would recognize him in this part of town, but she did seem like she would be a party girl. James had been to a few of those parties with clients.

"I want to record," James nodded, trying not to let her intimidate him.

"Why?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Can you even sing?"

"Yes, I'm good," James said, slightly offended. "And I want to use the best. Rocque Records is the best."

"We are." She walked around her desk and stood in front of him. "Sing."

"What?" James asked in surprise.

"Sing," she repeated. "We don't let just anyone record here, you need talent, a gift, fire. So sing, or get out."

James wasn't ready for that. He thought he'd have more time to prepare for something like this. He took a deep breath and sang the first song that popped into his head.

_"So take a good look at my face, you'll see my smile looks out of place, if you look closer it's easy to see the tracks of my tears."_

She looked at him for a moment. "Nope, sorry." She shook her head and moved back to her desk.

"What?" James asked in astonishment. "But I'm good!"

"Not good enough. Do yourself a favor - take that money and get some voice lessons, or a decent meal and some clothes that don't scream 'I robbed a hobo', get a real job, and please don't waste my time again. I'm looking for talent, not that," she said, dismissing him with a gesture.

James glared at her for a moment before turning and stalking from the room. He was good, and he knew he was good. He would show her one day, he'd show everyone that had ever turned him down.

* * *

It had been a long day of meetings and strategies and Kendall was exhausted by the time he made his way back to the hotel. He had to pick up James and then go back out to a dinner meeting with Arthur Griffin and his daughter.

He was looking to partner with RCM CBT GlobalNet Sanyoid and Rocque Records to open a studio in New York that Kendall's company would run. Kendall had always loved music and it was a profitable investment for the company.

When he stopped at the front desk to grab his messages and call up to the penthouse he was distracted by the piano in the lobby. Someone was playing it, and a beautiful voice was accompanying the music. This could be the sound he was looking for, someone to launch his New York studio.

Dropping his mail on the desk, he made his way over to the piano and stopped short.

_James._

James was the voice, the musician playing something so hauntingly beautiful Kendall couldn't breathe. His boy off the street was one of the most talented singers he'd ever heard.

"I didn't know you could sing," Kendall said, approaching the piano after James had finished.

James looked up, surprised to find Kendall standing there. He shrugged. "It's not something clients usually ask. Are you ready to go?" he asked, standing up from the bench.

Kendall nodded, still in shock as James looped their arms together and led them out to the waiting limo.

"You look nice," Kendall finally commented as they climbed into the car. And James did - he was dressed in a black suit with a blue tie, and his hair was pushed back off his face. Kendall felt his cheeks heating up as he looked the other boy over. There was no denying he was probably the hottest guy he'd ever had in his company.

"Thanks," James smirked, leaning back against the leather seats. "I know how to shop and dress."

"I can see that," Kendall said, clearing his throat.

"So, boss, where are we going tonight? Who do I need to impress by being the great Kendall Knight's boyfriend?" James asked, smirk still on his face.

"We're having dinner with Arthur Griffin, CEO of RCM CBT GlobalNet Sanyoid and his daughter, Mercedes," Kendall told him. "They are probably the strangest people I've ever met, but they know their stuff and I need them to believe that investing with me will pay off."

"What are they investing in?" James asked curiously.

"We're looking into starting a small, independent record label. Something for up and coming artists," Kendall explained, not missing the way James's eyes lit up at his words.

"Really?" James asked, obviously intrigued.

"Yeah. I love music, always have. It's kind of like a pet project, or that's what Logan is calling it anyway. But we ran some numbers and it'd be profitable, so I got the green light," Kendall explained.

"Aren't you the CEO?" James asked. "Why do you need permission?"

"I am, but I answer to a board of directors," Kendall said with a shrug. That was just how business worked.

"So what kind of sound are you looking for with your studio?" James asked, leaning back and looking at Kendall with what looked like hope.

"I'm not sure yet," Kendall said carefully, not sure how to tell James that he was exactly what he was looking for. He didn't want to get his hopes up if none of this worked out. "First we need an investor, then I can start planning."

James opened his mouth to reply, but by that point the limo had pulled up to the restaurant and they were climbing out.

Kendall took James's arm to lead him into the dining room and over to Arthur Griffin and his daughter. He stopped when he felt James hesitating.

"What's wrong?" he asked, turning his head to look at the other man, whose eyes were on the girl.

"Nothing, I've just met her before," James muttered, scowling. "She kicked me out of her studio after telling me I had no talent."

"Is she deaf?" Kendall asked, offended on James' behalf but calming when he saw the blush that had spread across James' cheeks at his words.

"Thanks," James grinned. "Come on, let's go make you an amazing deal."

* * *

Dinner was going well. Kendall knew how to impress people by just being himself, and since Logan had coached him on talking numbers he seemed to have Griffin's attention when he told him how much revenue a studio he owned would bring in. His daughter was less impressed.

"I don't know Daddy," she said, eyeing James with disdain. "Rocque Records does fine, and who's to say they'll turn out any talent?"

Kendall visibly bristled. "I know music, and I know talent when I hear it." He had to keep himself from snapping at her. He didn't like the way she was looking at James. "We're going to put out more than just synthesized pop music, I want singers who have talent and their own merits, people who write songs that speak to their audience. Who connect with them."

"Like him?" Mercedes asked with a roll of her eyes, motioning towards James.

"Yes, like him, who has more talent in his pinkie finger then you have in that bottle-blonde head of yours," Kendall spat. "James is more talented than anyone I've ever met, and we'd be lucky to have him record with us."

"Oooh, a fight," Griffin said gleefully, looking between Kendall and his daughter. "This is much more interesting. How should we settle this?"

"Easy." Mercedes smirked at them. "James against our best singer. At the end of the week, we'll have the crowd choose. If your pretty whore wins, then you have a deal."

"He's not a whore." Kendall snapped and stood up, telling himself it would be bad for many reasons if he punched her. "If we're done here, send me the time and the place and we'll see you on Friday."

He offered his hand to James and pulled him up, leading him out of the restaurant and to their limo.

"Are you crazy?" James demanded once they were inside.

"I might be?" Kendall said weakly, the night's events sinking in. Logan was going to kill him.

"You can't base your entire investment on the fact that you heard me sing once!" James exclaimed, looking panicked. "I suck. I've been turned away by every studio in the LA area, why on earth would you make a deal like that? You hardly know me!"

"First of all, you don't suck, not in the slightest," Kendall said firmly. "You're not overproduced junk, and that's what I want. Mercedes Griffin is a spoiled bitch who wouldn't know talent if it danced in front of her naked. There are always other investors."

James stared at him. "Why are you doing this? Is it because of what I am? I'm not looking for a way out Kendall, I'm fine."

"I'm doing this because you _are_ talented," Kendall said, voice still brooking no argument. "And I saw your face while you were playing that piano. You love it."

"Yeah, but loving it doesn't put a roof over my head, or food in my stomach," James said bitterly, "not everyone has millions of dollars to throw away on pet projects. Some of us have to resort to other methods."

"Don't turn this around on me," Kendall retorted, getting irritated. "I grew up with nothing and I worked hard to get where I am today. Nothing was handed to me."

James said nothing and stared out the window, watching the city pass.

"I didn't ask to be saved. I'm not a charity case you can throw money at."

"I refuse to believe that you actually wanted your life to end up this way," Kendall countered. "You wear a good mask James, but I've been putting masks on since I was ten. I'm not trying to 'save' you, I'm trying to give you a chance. What you do with it is your choice. If by the end of the week all you want is the money I owe you and you want to go back on the street, fine. All I'm asking is you try to help me first."

"Fine," James sighed, "but don't say I didn't warn you when we lose."

* * *

James woke up the next morning to find himself wrapped up tightly in Kendall's arms. Kendall, he'd learned quickly, was a cuddler after sex. James usually hated cuddling.

With Kendall, it was different. He found himself sinking in to the other man's embrace, found himself feeling safe. He was getting into dangerous territory and he knew it.

He crawled out of Kendall's arms slowly, trying not to wake him up. They'd been up late and James wanted to let him sleep longer. He took a quick shower, wondering if he should order them room service as he rinsed his hair, when he felt a pair of arms circle him from behind and lips on his shoulder.

"You want some company?" Kendall asked, and James could still hear the sleep in his voice. "We can conserve water."

"Do I have a choice?" James asked, slightly amused. "You're already wet."

"Only for you, baby," Kendall said, laughing as he kissed James' shoulder again. "It occurs to me that I've been a very selfish lover. And I would like to remedy that."

James opened his mouth to protest, but Kendall had moved his hand, wrapping it around James's half hard dick, and instead all that came out was a strangled noise. James let himself lean back against Kendall's chest, his head resting on Kendall's shoulder, allowing Kendall to hold him up as he jerked him off slowly.

It had been forever since someone took the time to just pleasure James. Usually James was on his knees, or they went straight to fucking, he couldn't remember the last time it was like this - when sex was fun and not a job, when he was comfortable with another person. He couldn't remember the last time another person cared enough to jerk him off and not just use him to get themselves off.

He wondered what it would be like to actually be Kendall's boyfriend, for all of this to be real and not a job. As he came he wondered what it would be like to lift his head slightly and kiss Kendall's lips; just like he'd wanted to since the moment he first saw Kendall.

Dangerous territory.

He could feel himself slipping into it as he turned in Kendall's arms and buried his face against Kendall's shoulder, kissing the skin there. "What's the plan for today?" he asked after a minute, regaining his composure.

"We have a charity golf event this afternoon," Kendall said, running his hands down James' back lazily.

"Sounds great," James said sarcastically. "I suck at golf."

"Don't worry, so does Logan," Kendall laughed. "Clean enough? I need some breakfast - there's a nice place on the way to the course. Best French toast I've ever had."

James nodded and pulled back. "Yeah, sounds good," he said, biting back a response about never being clean enough. He had a job to do today.

Kendall grinned at him as they got out and James found himself returning the smile. Maybe pretending for a little while wouldn't be a bad thing.

* * *

"You do suck as this," Kendall laughed, watching James attempt to hit the golf ball off the tee.

"Shut up," James grumbled, trying to hide his smile. "You could come over here and show me."

"What, like in a cheesy 'let me wrap my arms around you' move?" Kendall asked, and James could hear the teasing in his voice as Kendall came up to him.

"Well, we're supposed to be in love, remember. There are cameras watching," James smirked. Something passed across Kendall's face, gone too quickly for James to decipher.

"True," Kendall smiled. He wrapped his arms around James and adjusted his stance.

"Like this," he murmured swinging James' arms to demonstrate. "Now you."

James nodded as Kendall stepped back and swung his club, finally hitting the ball. "Sweet!"

"Why won't you show me like that, Logan?" Carlos laughed as the two walked up behind them.

Logan rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. "Because I've tried that, and you turned it into a makeout session at the mini golf range."

"Oh, right," Carlos grinned, clearly not ashamed of that fact.

Logan shook his head fondly. "They're serving lunch now, we should head in."

"Great, I'm starving." Kendall smiled and threw an arm around James, leading him towards the club and the dining room. "Having fun?"

James nodded. "More than I thought I would."

"Good," Kendall's smile widened as they walked.

"Hey, lovebirds," Carlos called back to them, "hurry up, will you? I'm hungry."

James liked Carlos from the moment Kendall had introduced them that morning, immediately giving him a welcoming smile and dragging him down to pick out golf clubs. Logan had only looked at him suspiciously, and while James couldn't blame him, it was making him feel uneasy.

"How'd you two learn to golf?" James asked curiously once they'd all sat down, looking at Logan in hopes of getting the other man to warm up to him.

"College," Kendall grinned, throwing an arm around Logan's shoulders. "Logan thought it would be a good skill to learn and made me take a golf class with him sophomore year."

"And I was right," Logan reminded him. "So James, where did you go to college?"

"I didn't," James said glancing warily at Kendall, he hadn't expected an interrogation and the way Logan was eyeing him was making him nervous. "I worked with my mom for a year or so and then I moved out here to become a singer."

"A singer?" Logan remarked with a smirk. "That's interesting. And how did you and Kendall meet again?"

"In a bar," James answered smoothly, not missing a beat. "He came in looking for directions and I helped him out."

"Logan," Kendall muttered, kicking his friend discreetly.

"What? I'm curious," Logan said. "It's interesting that you happened to meet a singer in a bar when you're out here to get funding for a studio."

"I didn't know that was why he was here, if that's what you're insinuating," James said, feeling his defenses go up.

"Logan," Carlos warned. "Lay off."

"What?" Logan asked, holding up his hands. "I just find it funny that Kendall went from being bitter about relationships to 'being in love' with a singer he happened to meet at a random bar two days ago."

"Seriously, Logan?" Kendall asked, clearly starting to get annoyed. "I didn't know he was a singer until last night, and he didn't know why I was here."

"That may be true, but I'm sure he liked the idea of dating Kendall Knight - that would probably boost his career, if not his wallet."

"I don't _need money_," James sneered. "My mother is Brooke Diamond. I'm sure you've heard of her, the Estee Lauder of the Midwest? I'm not after Kendall for his money, and I'm not after _him_ at all. We met by chance and happened to have a connection, and he asked me to be his date at some events this week. I didn't plan to start to fall for him, but it happened."

He glanced over at Kendall to see a shocked look on his face. "I'm sorry, excuse me," he said, getting up and throwing his napkin onto the table.

Kendall shook his head and glared at his friend. "For someone who just wants me to be happy, you sure know how to scare potential boyfriends away. Sorry, Carlos." He nodded at his other friend before taking off after James.

"Hey," he said, catching up with James and reaching for his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

James turned and looked at Kendall. "It's fine, not your fault your best friend is an asshole."

"He's just protective of me, and he has a right to be," Kendall said, leading them both over to the valet and handing the man his ticket for his car. "We aren't exactly telling the truth."

"I'm not after you for your money," James said, turning his glare on Kendall, hurt that he would even think that. "I'm your employee, I'm already getting your money."

"You're _James Diamond,_" Kendall said. "Don't you think that was something you could have mentioned?"

"Why?" James shot back. "What difference would that have made? Knowing that I'm not just a poor hooker, you don't feel the need to save me anymore?"

"What I want to know is why the hell you would sell yourself like that if you have almost as much money as me," Kendall crossed his arms and looked at James with distrust. "Why make me feel sorry for you? Do you like pretending you're almost homeless just to get money out of people, to get them to fall for you? And then what? You break their hearts?"

"Fuck you, Kendall," James spat, climbing into the car as it pulled up. "Just fuck you."

"We've already done that," Kendall said the hurt evident in his voice.

James didn't say anything, knowing if he opened his mouth he'd either tell Kendall everything, or just punch him in the face. Neither option looked good.

Not a word was spoken the entire drive to the hotel, or on the way up to the penthouse, and James immediately went to collect his things once Kendall let him in.

"What are you doing?" Kendall demanded following him into the bedroom, worrying.

"You think I'm staying here?" James snapped. "After _that_? I know what I do to survive isn't glamorous, but I have never felt as degraded as I feel right now."

"So why do it?" Kendall asked curiously.

"Because I have to!" James shouted. "I might be James Diamond in name, but my mother disowned me when I told her I didn't want to work for her company and moved out here instead. I was nineteen and an idiot, I thought all I needed was to have someone hear me sing and that would be it. Once I ran out of money I tried to find jobs, but no one kept me on for long. I tried singing for money, but realized that selling my guitar would get me more. After that money ran out I met Joseph, and he taught me how to do this. Yeah, my apartment might be crap, but at least I have a home, and I usually get two meals a day. So judge all you want to, Kendall, but I won't apologize for doing what I have to, to live."

"I-" Kendall started.

"And I don't want your pity, or your charity," James said, cutting Kendall off. "I don't need it. Just give me the money you owe me for the first night and I'll be on my way."

"I don't pity you," Kendall said, taking a step towards him. "I think you're stronger and braver than I could ever be. I think you have more to offer the world than this, and I want to help you because I like you, not because I pity you. You are unlike anyone I've ever met before. I honestly forgot what it was like to genuinely enjoy someone's company who isn't Logan and Carlos, or my mom and sister."

When James didn't say anything Kendall continued, taking another step forward and closing the distance between them. "I'm sorry for how I reacted. People have tried to use me in the past, and I got scared for a minute that you were going to hurt me. I want you here, I want to work with you. Please stay with me."

James stared at Kendall for a moment, trying to take in everything he was saying. He acted on impulse, surging forward to kiss him but stopping himself at the last minute and letting their lips almost brush. "Don't make me regret this."

"Is that a yes?" Kendall asked, pulling back slightly and making James laugh.

"Yes, just…don't do that again," James said, leaning forward and dropping a kiss on Kendall's forehead. He dropped the things he had in his arms and wrapped them around Kendall, walking them backwards until they hit the bed and fell onto it. James trailed kisses across Kendall's face, his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks - he knew if he didn't he would wind up kissing his lips like he wanted to. He felt Kendall tugging on his shirt, attempting to pull it off, so he disconnected them long enough for Kendall to remove it, and to get his own off, too. After that it was a blur of hands, and lips and groans, and lips. James hadn't been with anyone like this in years and he was reveling in it. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this kind of intimacy.

The next thing his brain registered was Kendall flipping him onto his back, hands and lips trailing down his torso. "Let me take care of you," he heard Kendall murmur before he felt Kendall's lips swallowing him. James let out a groan and stared down at Kendall as Kendall sucked him off - he didn't think he'd ever seen anything hotter.

"Fuck, Kendall," he gasped, hand going to tangle in the blonde's hair to hold him there as he bucked his hips up. He fucked Kendall's mouth, his dick brushing the back of Kendall's throat, the sensation almost making him come undone.

"Close," he managed, trying to pull back but Kendall held him steady, scraping his teeth lightly against James's shaft and swallowing him down deeper. James's fingers tightened in Kendall's hair as he came down his throat with a curse, flopping back on the bed and breathing heavily.

He looked down to find Kendall watching him with a smirk. "You're so hot," Kendall said, crawling up James' body and kissing his neck.

James smiled and reached up to card his hand through Kendall's hair, pushing it back off his face. "You're really fucking good at that," he said breathlessly.

"I know," Kendall grinned.

James laughed, his hands trailing down Kendall's back lightly. He reached down and gripped Kendall's ass, squeezing it. "You have a really nice ass, have I told you that yet?" he murmured.

"No," Kendall laughed, looking down at James mischievously. "Will you fuck me?" he asked, and James' breath caught for a second.

"Yes," he said, hooking his leg around Kendall and rolling them so he was staring down at Kendall, smiling. He leaned down and kissed Kendall's nose, feeling Kendall scrunch it up and he laughed again. He moved his lips, trailing them down to Kendall's neck, avoiding his lips even though he'd never wanted to kiss anyone more than he wanted to kiss Kendall.

Kendall gave a small whine and James smirked, concentrating on driving Kendall insane for a while. He sucked on the sensitive skin of Kendall's neck, leaving small marks as he moved down. He licked and sucked his way across Kendall's chest, paying close attention to the noises Kendall was making, concentrating on certain spots when Kendall let out a moan or a whine.

"James," Kendall gasped, and James looked up to watch him; already panting, his pupils blown. James smirked to himself; it always gave him a small thrill when he was able to do this, able to drive his clients crazy with lust, and it was even better with Kendall.

"Shh." James smirked, moving back down and kissing Kendall's hips, trailing his lips down Kendall's thighs before nudging his nose against Kendall's dick, satisfied when he heard a soft whine from above him. He sat up to look at Kendall, Kendall's hands fisted in the sheets under him and his head thrown back on the bed. He was gorgeous.

"Beautiful," James murmured, crawling off the bed to grab his bottle of lube and a condom before returning to Kendall.

"Ready?" he asked softly, coating his fingers and teasing them against Kendall's entrance until he saw Kendall nod.

James smirked and gently pushed one finger in, bending down to lick a stripe up the underside of Kendall's cock. He felt Kendall's hand reach up and land on the back of his head, guiding him down with a groan. James's eyes snapped up and locked with Kendall's, staring him down as he took Kendall into his mouth, adding a second finger and scissoring them apart to stretch the other man.

Kendall let out a loud moan but kept his eyes locked with James', and James smirked to himself, crooking his fingers expertly, knowing how to make Kendall's vision go white. He pulled a high pitched whine from Kendall when he crooked his fingers and he added a third, making sure Kendall was ready before pulling back.

James pulled Kendall closer, rolling on a condom before pushing into him slowly. It was amazing, and he kept his eyes locked with Kendall's, waiting for the other man to nod before starting to move. Everything was lips and tongues and teeth after that. He kissed along Kendall's chest as the other man moaned underneath him. He moved roughly, fucking Kendall like he'd wanted to do from the moment he saw Kendall in that silver sports car.

Kendall pulled him up so they were looking at each other, and the intensity of Kendall's stare was almost enough to make James come right there. He held it together.

He wanted to bring Kendall off first, to watch Kendall's face as he came. He wanted to feel Kendall's desperation, how much Kendall wanted him - he was the only one in a long string of men who had ever wanted James back, and he wanted to savor that feeling for as long as he could have it.

Kendall reached up, trying to bring their lips together and James resisted, stopping Kendall right before their lips touched, barely allowing them to graze. They stayed like that, tension flowing through them as they watched each other, breathing into each other's mouths but not closing the distance.

James brought a hand between them and it was easy to bring Kendall off, a few well placed thrusts and a flick of his wrist and Kendall was coming hard, crying out James' name desperately.

James followed him seconds after, finally dropping Kendall's gaze and burying his face against Kendall's neck, biting down on him lightly with a groan.

"Fuck," Kendall laughed breathlessly above him. "That was, fuck."

James laughed, muffled against Kendall's skin. "Yes, that was," he said, lifting his head to smile at him. It was becoming harder and harder to think of Kendall as just a client, and not someone he was falling in love with.


	2. Part Two

"I have an addiction to infomercial shopping," Kendall told James, blushing. "Stop laughing."

"That's adorable, what do you own?" James asked, amusement in his voice as he looked over at Kendall, causing Kendall to blush deeper.

"Um...everything?" Kendall said with a shrug. "I have the magic bullet, and that thing that dices vegetables, and I bought my mom that jewelry cleaner thing for her birthday last year."

"Do you have the shake weight?" James asked, and Kendall could see the amusement written all over his face.

"Yes," Kendall mumbled, blushing deeper at James' laughter. They had been laying in bed for over an hour just talking, something Kendall couldn't remember doing with any of his past boyfriends. He never really just talked to any of them.

"No wonder you're so good with your hands," James teased, rolling on top of him and grinning down at him. Kendall rolled his eyes but laughed up at James.

"Logan stole it," he admitted, loving the smile on James' face and the way his eyes lit up when he was genuinely amused. He was gorgeous, and Kendall found he was unable to look away.

"So, tell me something no one else knows," James said, his face turning serious.

"I used to want to be a professional hockey player," Kendall told him after a moment of deliberation. "I would practice every day, before school and after. It was my life."

"What happened?" James asked curiously.

"My dad left," Kendall admitted, "and my mom needed help with Katie and I didn't have time. I wanted to be the man of the house and eventually I got a job, made sure my grades were amazing so I could get a scholarship to college and my dreams just got lost somewhere in the shuffle." Kendall shrugged. As much as part of him regretted not following that path, he hated sounding ungrateful.

"Not that I regret where I am. I wanted to be able to take care of my mother and sister, and I can. I know I'm lucky."

"Do you still skate?" James asked, pushing Kendall's hair off his face.

"Yeah, it's where I go to relax, when I need to clear my head. I love the ice."

"You could have made enough money as a hockey player," James pointed out.

Kendall shrugged. "It was a chance I didn't want to take. Besides, I'm happy with how my life turned out."

"Are you?" James asked. "So happy you had to pay a hooker to spend a week with you?"

Kendall sat up abruptly and looked away, causing James to fall onto the bed. "I don't need you analyzing me, or my reasons for doing things," he snapped.

"You're only mad because I'm right," James challenged. "Look at me."

Kendall looked up reluctantly, knowing James was right and hating it. "What do you want me to say? That I hate my life, my amazing life, while you scrape to get by?" he asked, ashamed.

"Yes." James reached out and grabbed Kendall's hand. "If that's the truth, yes."

"I don't hate it, not all the time," Kendall confessed, "it just gets lonely sometimes." He looked up at James and gave a half smile, allowing James to tug him close and settled against him lacing their fingers together. They laid like that for a few minutes, quiet.

"Tell me about you mom and sister," James said eventually.

That made Kendall smile.

"They're the best, amazing. My mom is probably one of the strongest women I know and helping her had probably been the best thing I ever did. Katie is scary." Kendall laughed thinking of his sister.

"She's probably better suited for my job actually, she's a genius at making money, and she's a lot more ruthless than I am. She runs our international business; I don't get to see her as much as I would like."

"They sound amazing," James murmured, dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

"What about you?" Kendall asked, turning to look up at him. "Tell me something no one else knows."

"I miss my brother," James said quietly.

"Brother?" Kendall urged, wanting him to go on.

"I have a twin brother," James told him. "Shane."

"Where is he?" Kendall asked, looking up at James, feeling him shrug.

"I don't know, he was going to Harvard when I left. We lost touch a few months after I got out here, because when you have no phone you can't exactly call your brother," James explained, failing to keep the emotion out of his voice.

"You could call him now," Kendall pointed out.

"And tell him what? That instead of singing for a living I have sex with men for money?" James shrugged. "I don't want him to be disappointed."

"How do you know he would be if you don't try?" Kendall replied.

"I don't even know where he is, probably curing cancer or something. Shane was the smart one," James said, grinning slightly. "He was the one always getting us out of trouble after I did something stupid, or accidentally got hurt."

"Like what?" Kendall smiled up at him fondly, letting the subject drop for the moment.

"Um…we had this tree house, and I tied a rope to the tree branch next to it and I used to swing down. Shane kept telling me I was going to break my neck, but I didn't listen. I wound up fracturing my ankle trying to prove I'd be fine. Shane made up some excuse about falling off swings so our mom wouldn't take away the tree house."

"He's the one who convinced me to pursue music and not do what my mom wanted me to do. He bought me that guitar, the one I had to sell. I loved that thing, I had it since I was sixteen," James smiled sadly.

"The one you had to sell?" Kendall asked softly, feeling James nod against his head.

"Yeah, it was a Yamaha - we carved my initials in the back of the fingerboard."

Kendall fell silent, sensing that James didn't want to talk about his brother or his lost guitar. As they laid there, he wondered if it would be possible to hunt either of them down.

* * *

James woke up slowly, a smile spreading across his face as he remembered the night before. He and Kendall had continued their conversation until neither one of them could keep their eyes open, drifting off to sleep together. He rolled over, expecting to see Kendall, and was hit was a pang of disappointment to find the other half of the bed empty.

"Morning," Kendall said, walking into the room as he pulled on a shirt. "I have a meeting this morning, but I should be back after lunch."

James nodded and sat up. "Okay, I should probably work on some music or something since all your hopes and dreams are riding on me," he teased.

"Something like that. There's breakfast in the kitchen and I had some things brought in to help with practicing. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Sounds good," James said, laying back against the pillows and watching Kendall leave. He lounged around in bed for another half hour before his hunger made him get up and seek out the food Kendall left.

He stopped short when he got into the living room. There was a keyboard set up in the middle of the room, and what looked like a laptop that he could use to lay down tracks. "Damn, Kendall," he murmured, walking over to the keyboard and running his fingers across the keys. All thoughts of his hunger were forgotten as he sat down and began to play.

* * *

Kendall looked up from his desk, motioning Carlos and Logan into his office and holding up a finger indicating he would be another minute on the phone.

"Yes, it has the initials "JD" on the back of it. I need it by Friday," he said into the phone. "I'll be in touch."

"What's going on?" he asked, turning to look at his friends.

"What do you need by Friday?" Logan asked. Kendall could see him trying to sound disinterested, but failing.

"I'm trying to find the guitar James had to sell when he first moved to LA - I'm hoping it's still in the shop he sold it to," Kendall explained, "if not I'll track it down."

"You've got it bad," Carlos smirked, propping his feet up on Kendall's desk. "When's the wedding?"

"Funny." Kendall rolled his eyes and slapped Carlos' feet off the desk.

"I'm serious, I've never seen you like this before, dude. You have little cartoon hearts in your eyes." Carlos sat up. "You really like him."

Kendall could feel the blush rising up the back of his neck. "I do, which is the problem."

"Why?" Logan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because I don't think he feels the same way," Kendall shrugged, trying to play it off. As much as he was falling in love with James there was a part of him that was holding back, worried that James didn't feel the same, that this was just another job to him.

Carlos shook his head. "Are you kidding? He was smitten with you when we were at the club the other day, everyone could see it."

"Yeah, uh, that's kind of his job," Kendall muttered, not meeting their eyes.

"His job?" Logan prompted. "What do you mean his job?"

"I mean I'm paying him to spend the week with me." Kendall didn't think his cheeks could get redder than they were at the moment. "He's, I mean- I didn't run into him at a bar, it was on the street."

"So...he's a what? A hooker?" Logan was staring at Kendall in disbelief. "Are you insane?"

"I really don't need a lecture, Logan. I wasn't thinking, he was hot and I needed directions and then I couldn't send him back to that. He deserves better." Kendall sighed. "I didn't plan on falling for him."

"So he was lying about being James Diamond?" Carlos asked, obviously trying to wrap his head around the situation.

"No, he is, he left home a few years ago to be a musician and things didn't go as planned," Kendall explained.

"I'll say," Logan snorted. "You know if this gets out the media is going to have a field day. 'Kendall Knight buys hookers'."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "No one is going to find out."

"You don't know that! This could ruin your career, especially if you're dating him _and_ signing him to be the first artist at your new label. I don't even know why you're having this competition, you've already made up your mind." Logan shook his head.

"Because he's an amazing singer!" Kendall protested, becoming annoyed with Logan's tone. "I don't care about the rest of it. I want him signed, I want him to be with me, and I'm not giving him up, not unless he tells me to get lost."

Carlos laid a hand on Logan's arm when he noticed his boyfriend about to open his mouth again. "Kendall loves him, Logan," he said, giving Kendall a smile. "We'll do damage control if we need to."

"Fine." Logan sighed and stood up, "I still think you're making a huge mistake." He shook his head again and left the room.

"He's worried about you," Carlos said, watching his boyfriend. "I'm happy for you, Kendall, and if this is going to make you happy, if he's the one that's going to make you happy, then you know you have my support. I'll talk to Logan."

"Thanks." Kendall smiled at Carlos. "Let's hope James feels the same way."

"How could he not?" Carlos smirked. "It's you."

Kendall laughed and stood. "Well I'm going to get back to him then, he's working on music today and I want to be there."

Carlos laughed and followed Kendall out of the room. "Maybe we can get dinner later? I want to get to know him, I'll make sure Logan behaves."

"Sure, call me later with the details," Kendall said, walking out the door to head back to James.

* * *

James was slightly nervous as they entered the restaurant - the last time he'd shared a meal with Kendall's best friends he had stormed out, and that was before he cared whether Kendall's friends liked him or not.

Kendall squeezed his hand tightly. "Stop being nervous." He smiled at James, tugging him close.

"I can help it, Logan doesn't exactly like me, and they're you're best friends." James frowned.

"Hey, none of that; you look much better when you're smiling for me," Kendall leaned up, kissing James's cheek and James smiled despite himself. "That's much better."

"Ass," James laughed, squeezing Kendall's hand back and feeling himself relax as they approached the table.

"Hey guys," Kendall said, pulling James close. "You remember James."

Carlos grinned and nodded. "'Sup, dude?" he asked, gesturing for them to sit.

James smiled at Carlos and sat down. "Thanks for inviting us," he said, calming slightly when Kendall linked their hands back together under the table.

"No problem, Kendall keeps talking about how amazing you are, so we thought we should get to know you," Carlos said, nudging his boyfriend.

"Uh, yeah," Logan nodded, looking James over. "You clean up well."

"Thanks?" James glanced at Kendall, unsure of how to take that.

"So, what are we ordering?" Kendall asked, changing the subject and opening his menu with a flourish. "They have amazing steaks here."

"Sound good," James nodded, looking the menu over and closing it after he made his decision.

"So James, what have you been up to all day while Kendall slaves away in the office?" Carlos asked, smiling still. James wondered if it was possible for Carlos not to smile.

"I've been practicing for Friday. It's been a while since I had the time or the equipment to sit down and work on music. It's been a lot of fun," James felt himself relaxing more as he talked to Carlos.

"I imagine that's hard to find time for, with what you do for money," Logan said, his words laced with disdain. He visibly winced when Carlos seemed to kick him under the table. "I just mean he probably sleeps during the day, so who would have the time?"

James cleared his throat, shooting Kendall another look. "Yeah."

"He has the time now, and he will later too - whether this works out or not I'm opening a studio and James is going to be my first artist." Kendall shot Logan a look.

"Kendall," James said with a shy smile, "I can't ask you to do that. I'm not that good."

"You're the best singer I've ever heard, end of story. And you're not asking me, I want to do it - I want to make it in the music industry and you're going to help me." Kendall leaned over and kissed James' cheek.

"I think I may throw up," Carlos quipped, watching the two with a grin.

"Shut up, asshole." Kendall blushed and pulled away from James. "You and Logan make me want to throw up on a regular basis."

"Hey, we do not," Logan protested, "you always claim we're cute."

"Yeah, that doesn't mean it's not gross," Kendall laughed.

James laughed and let the conversation carry on around him, pausing as they ordered and then picking right back up. He could see how close the three men were and he felt a pang of jealousy, as it was something he'd never experienced.

He chimed in when he could, enjoying watching Kendall while he talked and taking in Kendall's friends. Carlos was great - he made James feel at ease, like he was already part of the group. Logan, on the other hand, kept throwing out remarks that got under James's skin. He knew Logan was just trying to look out for Kendall, but he still wished Logan would give him a chance.

"I think we're going to pass on dessert," Kendall told them, his hand squeezing James' knee under the table.

"Gonna get that back at the hotel?" Carlos smirked at them knowingly.

"As a matter of fact, yes," James smirked right back at Carlos.

"Get it," Carlos said, causing James and Kendall to laugh while Logan frowned.

"And on that note I think we're done here," Kendall said, still laughing. "I'll see you two tomorrow."

He stood, offering James a hand and pulling him up. "Come on."

James said good night to Carlos and Logan and let Kendall lead him back to their limo, which was parked out front. "Is this the only way you travel?" he asked, climbing in.

"Only here, I hate driving in this city." Kendall smirked and pulled James close. "Besides, if I drove I couldn't do this." He pressed his lips against James' neck, pushing him back against the seat and crawling onto his lap, knees bracketing James' legs.

"That's true," James hummed. "Although I was looking forward to dessert."

"Were you?" Kendall murmured, trailing kisses along his neck.

"Yeah, cake," James groaned softly, "with frosting. You'd taste good covered in frosting."

Kendall laughed and pulled back to look at James. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." James grinned, his arms wrapping around Kendall. "And then I can kiss every inch of you, just to make sure I got it all."

Kendall let out a breath. "You are so ridiculously sexy, you know that?" He reached up to turn on the intercom. "Bill, take us to the nearest cupcake bakery that's still open. We missed dessert."

* * *

Kendall opened the door to his suite and smiled at the sound of James's voice coming from the other room, soft and soothing, making him want to wrap himself up in it. He tossed his keys down and shrugged off his jacket, approaching quietly so he didn't ruin the song.

"You sound awesome," he commented, making James jump and turn around.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work," James asked, smiling at Kendall as he walked into the room.

"Well, since you've been holed up in here for two days with music and I've been stuck in meetings for two days, I decided to clear my schedule and go to the beach. I think we both need a break." Kendall sat himself down on James' lap. "How's the music going?"

"Good," James leaned his head on Kendall's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Kendall's waist. "I think I have something that's good enough for tomorrow."

"Good. All the more reason to come to the beach with me," Kendall grinned, kissing the top of James' head.

"You just want to stare at me with no shirt on," James teased him.

"I can do that anywhere," Kendall pointed out. "Come on, time is wasting." He pulled back from James and stood up, offering the other boy his hand.

They were at the beach an hour later, spread out together on the sand, the sun beating down on them and warming their skin. Kendall could hear the waves lapping against the sand, music playing in the distance from someone's radio, the sounds finally allowing Kendall to relax. He'd almost forgotten how, since he barely had any opportunity to, but between laying next to James, the smell of salt water and coconut sunscreen mixing in the air and the waves, he could feel the tension draining out of him.

"Okay, you were right," James sighed, "this is exactly what I needed."

Kendall's face was smug as he sat up on his arm and looked down at James, his eyes drawn as always to James's lips, red and slightly chapped from the sun. "I know." He leaned down and dropped a kiss on James' nose. "Let me kiss you."

James hesitated. "Not yet," he said, opening his eyes and looking up at Kendall. "Let's just get through this week."

Kendall frowned. "I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly.

"Please," James pleaded softly, "let's just see how everything goes."

"It'll go great, but okay," Kendall said, settling for kissing James's cheek before laying back down and linking their hands together as he allowed the sounds of the ocean lull him into a light sleep.

* * *

Kendall didn't know how long he dozed on the sand, but soon he was awoken by James poking him in the side.

"Let's go in the water," James said, smiling playfully at Kendall and tugging on his arm.

Kendall laughed, James' smile was infectious. "Okay, okay, let me wake up a bit."

Kendall let James pull him up and link their hands, leading him out into the water. Kendall sucked in a breath when the cold water hit his toes, the waves biting their ankles and up their legs as they walked into the water.

"When my mom would bring us out here for business Shane and I would spend all day on the beach, jumping waves," James said, turning so he was walking out in front of Kendall, his back to the waves.

"I never really played in the ocean, by the time I was anywhere near one, we were older," Kendall responded. "Usually I just lay in the sand."

"Not anymore," James grinned, pulling Kendall out further until they were waist deep. "Jump over the waves."

"It's cold," Kendall whined.

"You get used to it," James grinned, slipping under the water quickly and popping back out, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "Go under."

Kendall did as instructed, letting the icy water surround him before coming back up. He blinked his eyes open, the salt water stinging slightly. "Happy?" he asked, pushing his wet hair off his face.

"Extremely."

Kendall made a face, but it was quickly replaced by a mischievous grin as he splashed James.

"Argh!" James sputtered. "Oh, that was such a bad idea." He laughed, swimming over to Kendall and attempting to dunk him under the waves.

"Don't drown me," Kendall laughed, both of them too distracted to see the wave coming their way until it was crashing over them. They both resurfaced, laughing.

"This is much better than laying on the sand." James said, splashing Kendall playfully.

"I guess I'll just have to keep you around as my beach buddy," Kendall smirked, causing James to blush and try to dunk him again.

"I guess you will."

Kendall laughed as a smaller wave hit them. They spent the next few hours jumping waves and acting like eight year olds in the water before crashing back down on the beach. Kendall linked their hands as they lay there, completely content to spend the rest of the afternoon laying on the beach with James.

* * *

James paced nervously, his gaze drawn constantly to the curtain that was hiding the crowd in the small bar in which he was going to be performing. He could hear them all, their voices muffled but still loud. He had absolutely no idea how he was going to pull this off for Kendall, and Kendall wasn't even there yet.

Carlos told him that Kendall had to make a stop first, but he was on his way. James was half hoping Kendall missed how badly he was going to lose.

"I can't do this," he muttered, huffing out a breath.

"Yes you can." Kendall appeared next to him and James almost jumped out of his skin, so distracted he hadn't heard the other boy come in.

"You can do this, James, I promise," Kendall said firmly, catching James' arm and pulling him close to stop his pacing. "I have something for you."

Before James could ask Kendall pulled a guitar from the shadows behind him. "I think it's the right one, it took forever to find."

James stared wide-eyed at the guitar, afraid for a moment to touch it. "Is this..." he trailed off, disbelief in his voice as he slowly took the guitar from Kendall and turned it over. The initials were there.

"How did you...?" James looked up at Kendall, unable to form words. "Why?"

"I made a few calls," Kendall said, blushing slightly, "and because I wanted to, it meant a lot to you and I just, I wanted to."

"Kendall," James whispered, pulling Kendall close and resting their foreheads together. "You're an amazing man." He brushed his nose against Kendall's, locking their eyes together. He knew then that he loved this man, more than he would have thought possible. It scared him, but it also gave him hope. He leaned forward, intent on brushing their lips together when a voice interrupted them.

"James, you're on."

James turned his head, pulling away and laughing when he heard Kendall curse. "I gotta go," he said, moving away from Kendall. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need luck, just do exactly what you've been doing all week," Kendall smiled. "You've got this."

James smiled at him, his confidence returning as he held his guitar. He turned and walked on stage, determined to give the best performance of his life.

It was a small intimate setting, one where he felt like he was part of the crowd. As soon as he opened his mouth he commanded their attention, and for the next three songs he sang his heart out. Every emotion he had he poured into those songs, hope, fear, anger. Everything he had felt for the past five years, and everything Kendall made him feel in the past five days.

The audience loved him, and as soon as the last note faded out he knew he had this, that this was how he'd spend his life now. He glanced off stage to see Kendall standing there smiling at him, and for the first time in five years he felt his life slide into place.

"You were amazing!" Kendall exclaimed, catching James in a hug when he walked off stage. James let out a laugh and wrapped his arms around Kendall.

"That felt amazing," James admitted, his face buried against Kendall's neck.

"You have this competition in the bag." Kendall pulled back, his grin threatening to take over his face. "You're amazing."

James felt himself blushing at Kendall's words. "Let's not start celebrating yet. Zwagger needs to go on next."

"His name is Zwagger, I think you win on that alone," Kendall pointed out, wrapping his arm around James and pulling him close to his side so they could watch the next performance.

"That kid doesn't even look legal yet," James commented as he opened his mouth and began to sing.

Zwagger was good, but he was young and didn't have the same appeal to the crowd that James did. His songs were cliché pop songs that had been done before, and he didn't have the raw emotion James did when he sang.

"Not even close," Kendall murmured in James ear as Zwagger left the stage to mediocre applause.

Kendall smiled smugly at Mercedes when the emcee announced James as the winner. She just glowered at him and stalked offstage with a shriek.

"I do love a good competition," Griffin said, walking up to Kendall and James with a gleeful smile on his face.

"I believe we had a deal?" Kendall reminded him.

"Yes, yes," Griffin nodded. "My offices will draw up the paperwork tomorrow and send it over. Congratulations."

"He worries me," James said warily as he watched Griffin walk away.

"Me too," Kendall agreed before turning and smiling at James. "So, you still want to be my first musician?"

"Do you even have to ask?" James grinned and linked their hands together. "Always yes."

"Great, we'll figure it all out tomorrow. Let's go celebrate." Kendall pulled James out of the club, intent on celebrating their success for the night.

* * *

James bounced his leg nervously as he sat outside Logan's office, waiting to be called in. After completely trouncing the singer Mercedes had picked for the competition, Kendall had whisked him away to celebrate before anything else could happen.

Logan had called that morning, asking Kendall to bring James to work to sign off on some contracts and get him set up for everything he would need to move across the country.

James was terrified that he was about to wake up and still be in that dingy apartment, Joseph doing lines in the bathroom, with another night of picking up strangers to sleep with just so he wouldn't starve ahead of him.

The longer he sat the more he worried. What if it didn't work out? What if he really wasn't good enough? What if he wound up disappointing everyone, including Kendall? The thought of disappointing Kendall was the worst, especially after everything Kendall had done for him.

Logan popped his head out of the office and motioned James in, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"So congratulations," Logan said when James sat down. James shot him a strange look - that was probably the nicest thing Logan had said to him since they met.

"What?" Logan asked. "I might not trust you, but you _are_ talented and you did win."

"Why don't you?" James asked. "Trust me, that is."

"Because you came out of nowhere and have Kendall behaving like I've never seen. I'm glad he's so happy, but he's been my best friend since the third grade and I don't want to see him hurt again. Too many people have hurt him in his life. You're just going to be another one," Logan stated rolling his eyes as he grabbed the contracts he had drawn up for James.

"I'm not going to hurt him," James said seriously.

"You won't mean to, but you will. Anyone who dates Kendall is immediately thrown into the public eye. Add on the fact that you're going to be a singer? Your past will be dug up. Someone will recognize you as that guy who they paid for a quick fuck and sell that story to a magazine. How do you think that's going to affect Kendall? He built this company for his family, they're the most important things to him, how would you feel if he lost that? How would he feel? I just see this ending badly, and Kendall ends up hurt." Logan shook his head. "But he's Kendall, he won't listen to me until everything is blowing up around him."

"I didn't think of that," James said quietly, the implications of Logan's words playing in his mind.

"Neither of you did," Logan said. "Anyway, we're here for this." He pushed the contract towards James.

"Basically we're offering you a six month contract to start. You'll move to New York and record a demo - if we can get that picked up you'll record a full album and we'll go from there," he explained. "We can set you up with a place to stay, and living expenses for the first six months."

"Okay," James said, reading over the contract. He wished he had a head for business so he'd know if this was a good deal or not. But what other option did he have? At least this would get him off the streets and making music.

"Where do I sign?"

* * *

James was quiet as he and Kendall rode back to the hotel. Kendall asked how the meeting with Logan had gone and after a short "fine" he'd left James alone.

James couldn't get Logan's words out of his head. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Kendall's career. He knew he wasn't worth that. Kendall deserved someone who he didn't have to pay to be with him, someone without baggage, who wouldn't be accused of using him to get famous, someone his best friends liked, who wouldn't eventually have to force Kendall to choose between them. James wasn't worth the heartache that would come with being with him.

This was his chance to start over, start fresh. Maybe he should do that. It would be better for Kendall in the long run; he loved Kendall too much to ruin his life.

"What's going on?" Kendall asked as soon as they were back in his room.

James just shrugged. "Nothing, thinking things over. You're leaving tomorrow, right?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. I want you to come with me."

"I have some loose ends to tie up here," James said, turning away from Kendall.

"That's okay, you can meet me. I should get my place ready for you anyway," Kendall told him.

"Logan said I was going to be given a place to live." The words left James's mouth before he could stop them, making him wish he could take them back, but he knew he couldn't.

"Oh. I thought you could come live with me."

"The week is over Kendall." James closed his eyes as he spoke. "We agreed on a week, and I fulfilled that commitment."

Kendall was silent after that. James could feel Kendall standing there, staring at him.

"If you're going to break up with me you could at least be a man and look at me," he said, and James could hear how broken his voice sounded.

"We'd have to actually be together for this to be a break up," James said, turning around and pushing down the words he really wanted to say. "This was a business deal. Remember?"

"Bullshit," Kendall countered. "The feelings between us had nothing to do with business."

"You paid me to be your boyfriend for a week, that's what I was. The week is over, so the charade can end."

Kendall stared at him and James had to ball his hands into fists to keep from taking it all back. It's what was best for Kendall.

"Go then, get out of here of that's really how you feel. Congratulations James, you definitely earned every penny, you even had _me_ convinced. So fuck you, and get out of my sight before I have security come up and throw you out." Kendall shook his head and turned, walking over to his desk and making himself busy.

James didn't know what else to say. He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his things, throwing his clothes into one of the bags he bought. He grabbed his guitar and almost broke, wanting to run back and tell Kendall that he was lying, wanting to kiss him finally and never stop, but he didn't. This was for the best in the long run. A relationship with him would just hurt Kendall in the long run; hurt them both. This was the right thing to do. He walked out and saw Kendall standing with his back to him.

"Goodbye, Kendall," he said quietly.

"Your remaining money is on the in the hall. You're paid in full, now there isn't anything left between us." Kendall didn't turn around, but James didn't expect him to.

With nothing more to say he turned and walked out. He saw the money Kendall left but didn't take it, instead walking by. Part of him wondered how Kendall would react to that, but the rest of him knew he didn't have the right to wonder anything about Kendall.

With his heart breaking he left the hotel, heading back to his old life for a little while, while he waited for his new one to begin.

* * *

Kendall groaned when he heard a knock coming from the front door of his apartment - the last thing he wanted to do was get off the couch and see anyone. He vaguely wondered if whoever it was would go away if he ignored it, but then he heard Carlos' voice.

It had been about three months since James walked out of his hotel room, ripping his heart out and taking it with him. Kendall never handled rejection well, and that was before he'd ever actually been in love. He felt like he was drowning and the motivation to do anything, even go to work, was nonexistent. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and miss what he had. Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than never love at all had clearly never felt like Kendall did.

"You know we have a key, if you don't open the door we're just going to let ourselves in!" he called, making Kendall groan again and lift himself off the couch.

"I hate you," Kendall said, opening the door and letting his friends in before flopping back on his couch.

"That's a lie," Carlos said, looking around the messy apartment. "You need a maid, dude."

Kendall waved him off. "Don't care."

"Kendall, this has been going on three months, don't you think it's time to move on?" Logan sighed, sitting down across from him. "You barely leave this place - only to go to work, and that's when you bother to show up."

Kendall glared at his friend. "I'm sorry, is there supposed to be a time limit to feeling miserable?"

"No," Carlos said, stepping in, "we're just worried about you, dude. You're not you. Maybe it's time to move on."

"Easy for you to say," Kendall muttered, burying his face in the couch cushions. "You didn't love someone and find out he was lying then entire time. You've never had your heart ripped out."

"True," Carlos said, glancing at Logan to see him biting his lip and looking guilty. He raised his eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"I just don't get it," Kendall continued, "I know he felt it too. I finally felt like I found what I was looking for, that he was the last piece and my life had clicked into place. I know it was only a week, but he was it. How am I supposed to move on when he's what I wanted?"

"I know," Carlos said, trying to comfort his friend. "And he was crazy about you too, anyone with eyes could see that."

"It was all for show," Kendall said miserably.

"It was my fault," Logan blurted out, looking guilty.

"What?" Carlos turned to his boyfriend.

"What is your fault?" Kendall sat up, eyeing Logan suspiciously.

"I may have said a few things to him when he came to sign the contracts," Logan mumbled, looking down in shame.

"What things?" Kendall asked, the anger he'd been repressing finally starting to break free, and now he had someone to focus it on.

"He asked me why I didn't trust him; I told him he would eventually ruin your career." Logan chanced a glance at Kendall and immediately looked back down at the glare Kendall was shooting him. "The media would have a field day with him if they knew he was a prostitute, not to mention what they would do to you. I was trying to protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me!" Kendall stood up, his temper finally exploding. "You are not my fucking mother, Logan! I'm a big boy, I can make my own fucking decisions!"

"I know, but-"

"No!" Kendall cut him off. "Do you think I never thought about what could happen? Do you think I'm so much of an idiot that I didn't think of how this could affect me, or this company and everything that goes along with it? Or you two? I thought about all of it, and I decided he was worth it! He was worth everything the media would have thrown at us, and we have a fantastic PR department, I had faith that it wouldn't turn into a media circus! You go on and on about wanting me to be happy, but then the first chance I get at it you scare it away?"

"If he loved you so much he wouldn't have left that easily," Logan snapped, and the next thing Kendall knew his fist was flying, connecting to Logan's jaw with a satisfying snap.

"Whoa!" Carlos exclaimed, getting in between Kendall and Logan. "Kendall, calm down a second."

"No," Kendall growled, "get him out of my apartment, now."

Carlos nodded, turning slightly to look at Logan. "Logan go, I'll meet you at home later."

Kendall refused to meet Logan's eyes, even though he could tell Logan was looking at him.

"I'm sorry, for what it's worth, I didn't mean to hurt you this badly." Kendall heard Logan sigh, waiting for the sound of Logan letting himself out to look up. He saw Carlos watching Logan, turning back to Kendall once Logan was gone.

"I didn't know he did that."

Kendall nodded, feeling himself deflate as his anger dissipated. "I know."

"He does only want you to be happy, but he also wants to protect you. Not that I think he did the right thing, but his heart was in the right place." Carlos led Kendall back to the couch and sat him down and gently asked, "Do you think Logan was right though? That he shouldn't have been so easy to scare away?"

Kendall shook his head. "He didn't take the money."

"What money?"

"The money I was supposed to pay him for the week. He left it on the table. I didn't understand why; he kept telling me that it was just a job and that was it, but he didn't take his payment." Kendall looked at Carlos with hope in his eyes. "Do you think he was lying?"

"I think that he was just as in love as you were. He could have had a lot of reasons for leaving like he did, though," Carlos told him. "I think he owes you an explanation, and I think you owe it to yourself to find out everything."

Kendall stood up. "I need to go find him, how am I supposed to find him?"

"First, you need to shower. You kinda smell, dude." Carlos pushed him towards his bedroom. "You won't get him back looking like you haven't bathed in days. I'll make some calls while you get ready."

Kendall huffed out a small laugh for the first time in weeks as he went to get ready. He was hopeful now, maybe he would be able to get James back, back where he belonged; with Kendall.

* * *

Kendall drummed his fingers along the armrest in Carlos' car, anticipation running through him.

"So," Carlos said, breaking the silence. "There was another reason Logan and I came over today. I should probably wait to tell you, but I'm not sure when you're gonna want to see him again."

Kendall looked over at Carlos. "What?"

"We're engaged, officially," Carlos said with a grin.

Kendall looked at Carlos in shock before smiling. "That's great dude, really. When?"

"Last night. It wasn't anything big, we were talking and I figured since we can now, why not?"

"I'm gonna have to forgive him now, aren't I?" Kendall asked, shaking his head in amusement. He knew he would have anyway, but right now he was still mad.

"Make him sweat a little," Carlos smirked, "but we'd like our best man to like us both."

Kendall laughed. "I'm happy for you, it's about damn time."

"Thanks," Carlos grinned again as they pulled up outside Knight Music Studios. "Now go get yourself a date for my wedding."

"Here's hoping." Kendall wasn't nervous until he stepped out of the car. It was the first time he'd ever been there, too miserable to even think about it before this.

His nerves increased as he entered the building, doubts running through his head. What if James hadn't been lying and it had nothing to do with what Logan said? What if James really didn't feel the same?

He steeled himself as he followed the receptionist's directions to where James was recording. Carlos was right, he was at least owed more of an explanation. If James truly didn't want him, then at least he could try to move on.

He walked into the sound booth quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone and the first thing he saw was James, headphone on, eyes closed and singing his heart out. It was a slow song, and Kendall could feel every emotion James was pouring into it. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he was in love with the man standing before him.

He tapped the sound tech on the shoulder, asking for a moment alone and as soon the tech realized who Kendall was he left quietly. It was just James and Kendall, and James didn't even realize Kendall was there yet.

As the last note faded away Kendall leaned forward and pressed a button, speaking into the microphone on the soundboard. "That was amazing."

He watched as James' eyes flew open and locked with his, emotions passing over his face. "Kendall?"

"Hi." Kendall stood back and motioned for James to come out of the booth.

"What are you doing here?" James asked as he joined Kendall on the other side of the glass.

"You didn't take the money," Kendall said before he could stop himself. He'd rehearsed what he wanted to say, but it all seemed to have flown out of his head now that James was in front of him.

"I didn't need it," James said, no longer meeting his eyes. Kendall could see the mask he wore fall into place.

"But if it was a job, like you kept insisting, why not take the money? You earned it," Kendall pressed.

"Yeah but, you did so much for me, it felt like we were even," James said.

"If that's the truth, why won't you look at me?" Kendall asked. "Look me in the eye and tell me it was just a job, that you didn't feel anything at all for me."

James looked up at him and faltered. "I can't," he admitted after a moment. "Happy? I can't. Because it wasn't a job, and I fell for you, but we can't be together, okay?"

"Why not?" Kendall asked softly, taking a step towards James.

"Because you deserve more than me," James said, taking a step back, the door behind him trapping him.

"Says who?" Kendall asked, coming closer.

"Logic," James sighed. "When the media finds out who I really am- Kendall, I will not be responsible for ruining your life, especially since you saved mine."

"You can't ruin my life, not unless you're not in it." Kendall leaned forward, resting his hands against the door on either side of James' head. "You're worth it, worth all of the shit that might get thrown at us. And that's a might, we don't know what's going to happen. You _are_ worth it, you understand me? You make me happy, happier than I've been in a very long time, James. I'm not prepared to give that up because my best friend is an asshole and scared you away."

"It's not only that," James whispered. "Why would you want me? After everything I've done, _everyone_ I've done. I'm a whore, Kendall."

"You are _not_ a whore," Kendall insisted. "You did what you thought you had to do to get by. But you stopped, and it's in the past. I don't care about any of that. You want to know why I want you? There's so many reasons - because you're funny, you remind me what's it's like to relax and have fun, you're sexy and phenomenal in bed; you have the most amazing voice that I could listen to all day. You're kind, you care about people, and you're just a little bit broken, like I am. You make me not feel so alone, you-"

Kendall was cut off as James surged forward, their lips crashing together as James's arms wrapped around him. Kendall gasped and then kissed him back; like he'd wanted to do so many times since he laid eyes on James, like he'd almost done so many times during that week. He wrapped his arms around James and pulled him close, deepening the kiss. He was lost, drowning in this other man and he never wanted to come up for air. James's lips were soft, pliant and opened easily under his own, making it easy for Kendall to taste James. James tasted like coffee and mint and something that Kendall knew was just inherently James. Kendall didn't know how much time passed, didn't know when he had backed James against the door, or when his hands had traveled to James' hair. He just knew that he would do anything to get James to keep making that small noise in the back of his throat, and that he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with James' lips attached to his.

James pulled back eventually, both of them breathing heavily. "I'm sorry I was an idiot," he said, opening his eyes and looking back at Kendall. "It killed me to walk out of that hotel, but I wanted to protect you, and I was scared."

"It's okay," Kendall sighed, "just make me a promise, talk to me before you decide to do something to protect me, and when you're scared."

"I promise," James smiled resting his forehead against Kendall's. "I'm not going anywhere again."

Kendall leaned in and kissed him again, lightly, just glad that he could. "I'm in love with you. Whatever happens, I'm in this for the long haul."

James smiled against his lips. "I love you too. Whatever happens."

* * *

The door to Kendall's apartment swung open, slamming against the wall and almost knocking the picture that was hanging on it to the floor. Neither man noticed as James pushed Kendall into the apartment and kicked the door closed behind him. James pushed Kendall up against the far wall and reattached their lips, kissing him roughly while pulling at his shirt.

"Bedroom," Kendall gasped against James' lips while trying to push his jeans off his hips.

"No time," James groaned, pulling back to yank off both their shirts before dropping to his knees. He reached up, pulling down Kendall's jeans and running his hands up Kendall's thighs. He had missed this over the past three months, missed hearing Kendall groaning above him. It was new, missing a person and missing sex with them.

"James," Kendall groaned, tangling his fingers in James's hair as James kissed up his thighs and reached up to take his length his his hand, stroking him teasingly.

James looked up at him and smirked. "Relax, I got this," he said, kneeling up and licking at Kendall's cock, tasting him before wrapping his lips around Kendall, listening to the groans Kendall let out.

James didn't waste any time, remembering exactly what Kendall liked. He groaned as Kendall tugged on his hair and relaxed his jaw, letting Kendall fuck into his mouth. James shifted, resisting the urge to reach between his own legs and relieve some of the pressure. This was about Kendall right now, he could wait.

James continued what he was doing for a few minutes before bringing his hand up to cup Kendall's balls, hoping it would drive his boyfriend crazy.

"James, James, Jamie," Kendall babbled above him, making James smirk - Kendall was close.

Kendall's hands tightened in James' hair and that was all the warning James had before Kendall was coming with a moan.

"Fuck, James," Kendall gasped, reaching down and pulling James up, crushing their lips together. James went willingly, letting Kendall kiss him and sliding their lips together desperately.

"Kendall," he whined when Kendall popped the button on his jeans and pushed them down, taking James in his hand and jerking him off. James rode it out, head falling against Kendall's shoulder, lips kissing the skin underneath them.

Afterwards they were both breathing heavily, leaning against each other in the front hall. "Damn," James said, laughing slightly.

"Bedroom now?" Kendall asked breathlessly, lifting James' head off his shoulder and kissing him again. This kiss was slower, lazy, and it held promises of what was to come now that the desperation to have each other had worn off.

"Bedroom now," James agreed, stepping back and letting Kendall pull him back towards his- _their_- room.

Kendall glanced back at him, a smile stretched across his face, and James knew, this was it. Kendall was everything he'd ever wanted. He was James' future and James was ready for it, whatever the world threw at them.


	3. Epilogue

James stepped off stage to applause and cheers. He had just played his third show and it didn't think this feeling would ever get old. His shows were small, in private, intimate venues and he only had a few songs but it was amazing being up in front of people, watching them listen to him and relate to his music. It was heaven, and he knew it would only get better.

He immediately looked around backstage for his boyfriend, who seemed to have disappeared.

"You were amazing, baby."

James spun around to see Kendall behind him and he immediately pulled Kendall into a kiss, still riding the high of performing.

"Thanks," James murmured, "it felt amazing."

"I have a surprise," Kendall said, pulling back and motioning someone over. James turned and stared in shock at the person walking up to them.

"Shane?" James asked incredulously. "What? How? What?"

Shane laughed and immediately pulled his brother into a hug. "Kendall called me last week, explained who he was and that I really needed to come to New York and hear you sing. He can be very persuasive, especially when he sends a jet to pick me up."

James let out a laugh, staring at Kendall over his brother's shoulder.

"I can't believe you're here," James said, feeling himself get choked up as he pulled back to look at the man he hadn't seen in over five years.

"I can believe you're here," Shane grinned at him. "I knew you could do this."

James beamed at him - making Shane proud felt like everything had finally fallen into place. "Come on, let's go for a drink and you can fill me in on your life," he said, slinging an arm around his brother and leading him away, holding his hand out for Kendall to grab. In that moment, everything was perfect.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Kendall asked with a yawn, rubbing his eyes as he walked into the kitchen. James was standing in the middle of it, coffee all over the counter and what smelt like burning toast in the toaster.

"No!" James shrieked. "You can't be up yet!" He turned and tried to push Kendall out of the kitchen.

Kendall laughed. "What happened?"

"I was trying to surprise you with coffee and toast in bed. But your fucking espresso machine hates me." James glowered at the machine on the counter.

"It does not hate you," Kendall smiled and kissed James before walking over to the machine and making them two cups of coffee. "See?"

"That's not fair, it hates me," James pouted as Kendall handed him a cup and threw out the toast. "I wanted to surprise you."

"It's okay, baby," Kendall said, amusement in his voice. "It's the thought that counts. Why don't we clean up and I'll take you out for brunch?"

"Pancakes?" James asked hopefully.

"Whatever you want." Kendall grinned even as he cleaned the coffee up from the counter - he loved his boyfriend.

* * *

"Come on Kendall, he's your best friend," James said as they pulled up in front of Logan and Carlos' building. The boys were holding a small engagement party, and James had insisted they attend, even though Kendall hadn't spoken to Logan for the past few weeks.

"He's a meddling relationship hater," Kendall muttered.

James turned to his boyfriend with a sigh. "He was doing what he thought he needed to do to protect you. Yeah, he was an ass, but he's really made an effort, Kendall. Are you going to throw away twenty years of friendship because he wanted to protect you?"

Kendall sighed. "I know, you're right."

"I know, now come upstairs and forgive him so he can stop dropping by the studio to annoy me while I record," James smirked, pulling Kendall out of the car and up to the boys' apartment.

"You came!" Carlos beamed at them when he opened the door to the apartment, Logan in tow.

"Of course we came, you're my best friends," Kendall said, looking at Logan. "Even when you're complete asses."

Logan smiled warily. "So we're okay?"

"Yeah," Kendall said as Logan let out a relieved noise and pulled him in for a hug. "We're cool."

* * *

Kendall rolled over for what felt like the hundredth time. For as much money as he spent on his couch it should have been much more comfortable than it was.

He grumbled to himself and looked at the closed door that led to his bedroom. He'd gotten home an hour ago to find the door locked and a pillow and blanket on the couch. He hadn't realized how mad James was until he'd tried the door and it was locked.

He sighed and turned over onto his back. He didn't think he was going to get much sleep that night.

By the time he managed to wake up, after nodding off around three am, James was already gone. Kendall felt his heart drop as he left for work.

"What's wrong with you?" Carlos asked, walking into Kendall's office and flopping down in one of his chairs.

"I think James is breaking up with me later," Kendall muttered, not looking up from his computer.

Carlos sat forward abruptly. "What?! What happened?"

"We had a fight; well, more like I missed our anniversary last night because I got stuck here and we haven't spent time together in over a week. I promised I'd be home - he got us reservations at that new place downtown that's always packed, and I wasn't home and I slept on the couch," Kendall rambled with a frown. "And he was gone this morning. I know this pattern. Now he'll dump me and I'll be alone again."

"Kendall, he just upset, that doesn't mean he's going to dump you. It's your first fight, just make it up to him." Carlos said encouragingly.

"How?" Kendall asked desperately.

"I don't know, do something meaningful. But he's not leaving you, he loves you too much." Carlos stood up. "Now go home, and I don't want you back here for at least two days. You're working too hard, Logan and I can take care of whatever pops up."

Kendall knew there was no use arguing with Carlos, he just had to do what he was told -and Carlos was right, he had to make it up to James.

* * *

James walked into the apartment after a stressful day at the studio on top of being mad at Kendall. All he wanted to do was flop down on the couch and watch some mindless tv. What he wasn't expecting was Kendall standing on the kitchen, putting sushi on plates.

"What are you doing?" James asked curiously despite himself - he was still a little mad.

"I got us takeout from your favorite sushi place uptown," Kendall said, finishing the plates and wiping his hands on a towel.

"Why? Why aren't you at work?" James asked, crossing his arms.

"I took the next two days off. I'm sorry, I know I've been working a lot lately and I know I missed our anniversary. I'm not used to having someone to come home to, and I didn't realize how much it would mean to you." Kendall explained.

James smiled slightly. "I just miss you. After a long day it's lonely coming home to an empty apartment and going to bed without you."

"I promise I'll be better about it. I'll make sure I get home on time when I can, and let other people take care of things for me." Kendall smiled and walked up to James, pulling him into a kiss. "I got you something."

"Oh?" James smiled. "I like presents."

"I know," Kendall grinned, bringing James into the kitchen and pointing out a new coffee maker with a bow on it. "I got you one that won't hate you, so you can make coffee without fighting the espresso machine."

James laughed and wrapped his arms around Kendall. "I love you," he said, kissing him again.

* * *

Kendall grinned at James across the altar, tuning out what the officiator was saying as he stared. Kendall was pretty sure James had somehow gotten hotter in the past year, and he was counting down the minutes until he could drag James off somewhere and show him just how hot he looked in a tux.

He was brought out of his thoughts by an elbow to his stomach. "The rings," Logan hissed, and Kendall blushed. He handed Logan the ring and made sure to pay attention as he watched his best friends exchange vows, happier than he had ever seen them.

It was a quick ceremony, a simple exchange of rings and vows. Kendall linked arms with James once it was over to walk behind the married couple.

"Saw you staring at me," James smirked at his boyfriend.

"Like I can help it, you look so fucking hot right now," Kendall muttered and James laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"You can show me how hot later, today is about our friends."

Kendall still grinned when James called them 'our friends'.

James made it easy. He fit into Kendall's life seamlessly, getting along with his best friends, especially Carlos. His mother and sister had welcomed James right away, even if Katie had terrified him for the first month of their relationship.

"What are you thinking about?" James asked, pulling Kendall back out of his thoughts again as they stood by and watched the guests greet Logan and Carlos and offer their congratulations.

"You." Kendall turned his head and captured James' lips in a quick kiss. "And us."

James smiled at him, wrapping his arm around Kendall's waist and pulling him close. "What am I going to do without you for six weeks?"

James was about to start a six month tour as an opener for one of the most popular musicians in the industry, and Kendall knew he was nervous, even though Kendall didn't think he needed to be. James's album had dropped the previous month, and it was already generating some buzz. After that James had started making small appearances and doing local shows in New York, but they'd be releasing him to the masses the next week and Kendall saw the worry in his eyes.

"We'll survive. Besides this tour is a great thing for you, opening for someone is how you start. Next thing you know you'll be headlining tours all over the world." Kendall looked up at him and smiled. "Have I told you how proud I am of you?"

"Every day, but it's still nice to hear." James kissed him again. "Think we have time to sneak away before the speeches?"

Kendall laughed. "As much as I want to say yes, you try explaining to Carlos and Logan why we missed pictures."

"I'm sure they're just as desperate to disappear. Someone has to have slutty wedding sex, we'd be doing them a favor." James smirked, tugging on Kendall's arm playfully.

"I love you," Kendall said, amused, pulling James close and kissing him deeply.

"Whatever happens," James said when they broke apart, smiling at each other.

Kendall repeated the sentiment and he knew it was true. They'd have their struggles and issues but he knew that this was where he was supposed to be, and who he was supposed to be with.


End file.
